2040 Election Platform

President Jaguar rose to power in 2040 on a universally beloved platform full of promises that he did not keep.

False Promises

Throw all of the police in jail.
Tax the churches to subsidize the liquor stores.
No more witch burnings.
Raise the national speed limit to 75. Minimum
Drinking age lowered to 12
Re-institute the draft. For NASA.
Mandate steroid usage for professional sports.
An NFL franchise for robots
Minimum SAT scores for collegiate sports.
Cocaine to be added to the water supply
Abolish daylight savings time. Entire nation to use Pacific Standard time.
Flouride to be removed from the water supply and added to the Kale supply
No more houses. Only cabins.
Outlaw the following colors: Green. Dark Green.
No more Tuesdays. 2 day weeks, Friday and Saturday.
Halloween to be a month.
Chess sets to feature 8 kings and 8 queens per side. No more pawns or bishops.
Death Star to become national priority.
National healthcare for dogs.
The second amendment applies to mech suite.
Banks now have to pay you overdraft fees
20% increase in "all you can eat".
No more prisons.
Corporations are now people. Through cloning. The mass of the person is the net worth of the corperation. They fight Kaiju style.
Pokemon parliament on C-Span
Homeless people exempt from J-walking laws
Tax the libraries to subsidize plastic surgery.
lightsabers in the classrooms
Outlaw all Laws.